Yep, you read that correctly. I had to sign up, train and run a half marathon (13.1 miles) in order to appreciate the size of my body. How, why did this happen, you ask?

Let me give you some background info: I had never considered myself a runner but always worked out with the goal to lose weight. When I lived in Washington, DC, I found a bootcamp style class with Ambitious Athletics and in the age of the couch to 5K, I also ran along Rock Creek Park. I ran alone, because I was embarrassed at my speed, something I had been blessed with when I was born into my family. In the summer of 2013, I decided to move back to the Midwest for various reasons. A few of my college friends coincidentally also transitioned back to the Midwest and we all decided to run a 5k fun run! As the race date came, I still hadn’t completed the 3 mile distance, but figured I’d be able to push through with the “adrenaline” of the race.

I ran about 2 of the 3.1 miles of the fun run. I was pissed, confused and embarrassed that even though I was taking this “fun run” seriously, I still couldn’t run the whole thing. Fast-forward to present day, I now know that its because the powder the race used contained something that affected my exercise-induced asthma that wasn’t physically noticeable until I started training for my half-marathon.

Now getting to the half marathon!

My high school friend, a marathoner, emailed a group of friends and asked if we wanted to have a fun memorial day weekend in 2014 that included running a marathon, half marathon or even a 10k. I kind of scoffed at the email (as a non-runner), but then looked at it again and appreciated the simple gesture of including me (whether she included me for the fun weekend, to be a cheerleader for the runners, or actually running it, I will never know).

Then I started thinking about it. First, I googled how many miles were in a half marathon. Then I thought, ok, 13.1 miles = 4 - 5k’s and some change, that’s doable. Since I didn’t complete the fun run, I thought, I’ll redeem myself with a half marathon!

Makes total sense, right?

But in the back of my head, like every other person who is unhappy with the way they look, was thinking that running this race will make me thin and beautiful.

About halfway through the half marathon training process, I realized:

• I really enjoyed the training schedule, knowing that there was a start and end date (instead of telling myself to workout 3x a week for 1 hour until forever).

• I have exercise-induced asthma! My mom, a nurse (yay, nurses!), noticed that I would wheeze and cough for a period of time after my long training runs. Like all good mothers do, she sent me to the doctor and the doctor told me almost word for word what my mom had and provided me proper medication.

• My body wasn’t changing that much.

I also learned that race day fashion is just as big of a deal as picture day at school?? I had no idea, but once I found this out, I had some fun. I splurged on nice black leggings from Athleta and a Nike shirt (1x). After all of my training, I was bummed about the number on the shirt; but that quickly changed when I found a coordinating Buff headband to complete my race day look. *please note this was before the now plethora of plus size activewear

Back to the race, which I finished on my time, for me. I ran all 13.1 miles, found running buddies along the way and got motivation from cheerleaders on the sidelines.

Running the half marathon did not make me thin, nor did it make me beautiful. About a week after the race, when the muscle soreness resided (pain no one tells you you will feel) I realized that even though I didn’t drop the pounds and sizes like I had hoped, I gained confidence, strength and so much more.